Why do you desire your dreams life?

Ask why do you desire your dream life?

This is the answer that came…….

I have my dream life already, and I love it. That’s what I realised. I have it already, I am living it now. I am a very lucky girl to be able to say that. I defined my own success, I let go, or got kicked from what was not for me. I surrendered. I realised I am there already. No more wanting or needing to answer the question.

My strongest human needs, as I understand them, are Love & Connection and Variety/Uncertainty… through Growth. I identified that.

I desire the journey of my dream life to unfold before me, step by step, (the variety/uncertainty), the growth of my spirit and humanity through love and connection.(love & connection, the very thing I was petrified of and have avoided. I took the aspartame love, if sugar is the real deal. Now not even sugar. I am enjoying Real fruit ;)

I am enjoying the journey, it’s exciting, thrilling and I love the ups and downs, they are smoothing out now, the downs don’t make me down, I am just feeling more awareness of the change of state, more presence – and I am able to not be (as) identified with the fluctuations, so the fluctuations do not affect me so intensely or painfully. Actually the intensity is there perhaps stronger yet the non-rejection of “what is” means that I am able to refrain from judging the events and changes, as good or bad. Forgo the suffering.

I accept change is good now, I who used to be so painfully afraid of change (for fear that things may get worse), and yet I was still talking risks, leaping into the uncertainty, uncertain. I was naturally a brave crazy loon, even if I didn’t know what I was doing, now I am surrendered to the fact that I am what I am, when I stripped off the layers (bfm) and found the same underneath, only cleaner and purer. I accept I am what I am, and that God made me this way, so no judgement. Who decides what’s appropriate?

I desire to Really experience my life as the dream it is, and I love the experiences I am having, and I have had. I am dreaming my dream, it is not a design, unless the design is to say, “Use me as you see fit Universe here I am, What’s next?” Every day is a lifetime and an adventure when you live this way. Why would I live only one lifetime by one design, when I can experience so much more living according to the plan He has for me, We, rather, it’s a co-creation Universe, Source and I.

Why get trapped by designing my own prison when I can roam free and roar ;) Hear the birds sing listen to the call for action. It requires my presence, peace and stillness to hear the inspiration, listen to my intuition and create now. It requires presence. Being harmonious and aligned is my job. Cultivating every day my healthy strong awareness.

I desire to help and love people, I am living my life in service, loving divine humanity… the more the merrier. I just gotta accept it, gotta and gonna accept that I am my own unique little freak and I freaking love that.. Loonies and Lovers and Dancers and Players.. love them all and first of all and most immortally love my Self. This is how much love I am receiving from me .. what can surpass that?

This is a revelation to me. I am love. Yet I had made love the object, given him a face that was not mine, not the subject. Love is the subject of my life. Objects having finite existence in time and space, are by definition finite. Subjects are vast limitless Servants to a Higher calling, subjects are limitless in time and space. So love is now my subject, not my object of desire.

Did I just go too far … send the ambulance , book me a bed in the Loonie bin ;)

All I had to do was stop digging up the seeds to see if they had grown. Admiring my garden now, listening to the cleansing rain fall, thanking the Source of all the Love for all that I am. If God had a plan for the flowers when he made them, I am sure he had a plan for me ~ and what better plan could I design than the plan He has for me.

Is it because you desire the journey...... Is it because you want a buffet of options, is it because you desire those experiences, be you desire to be of benefit. because Why not?.

Ask yourself these question so that you can redefine exactly what it is you are reaching for. What you are Taking for, what you are doing all this Life for.

What am I reaching for … well I will have to admit that would be enlightenment. Love and enlightenment. Conscious communion and co-creation everyday in every moment. The blending and merging of outcome and intent. Service to humanity, loving those who have forgotten how, or did not know or did not feel it. I feel it, I have plenty, squeeze me and that’s what comes out. I heard that somewhere, could have been Mr Dyer, if you squeeze an Orange what comes out, not grapefruit juice, its orange juice.. so if I am love, I express love, even when I am squeezed, tried and tested. Otherwise I’m a sour grapefruit disguised as an orange…

Contentment. Peace of mind. Alignment, Harmony. Not balance, harmony. Balance is too.. balanced.. Harmony is orchestral and grand .. there are more instruments in a harmony. Balance has two sides when I think about it and they gotta be equal. I’m not an equal balanced Sheila.. I am full immersion, full relaxation, full heart, full courage.,, Courageous . Harmony is more courageous than balance, balance to me seems too feeble for me to aim for.. “work life balance” blahhhhh . Instead I chose loving and playing and playing the best game… everyone’s a Winner. Higher stakes bigger Wins. And there is no failure. I made friends with failure and now we hang-out and laugh and joke about the old days when I though he was bad for me.

Fulfilment. Fill up myself until I brim over with love for all humanity. Shine and light and smile and laugh, demonstrating my abundance of love to the world.

Love. Simply love. I am simply here to reveal the expression of my true Self, free from fear and failure and judgement, illusion and Self-deception. I desire to live in Truth. See Truth, be Truth-full.

My loving heart had betrayed me, had kept on loving external to myself, even after I had physically left the prison. My heart was chained by my own Self denial. I mean I was denying my Self the freedom to love whom my heart wanted to love. Imposing resistance upon my hearts’ primal desire to love was something I could not overcome, it was denial of my true self, and fear. My heart so desperately wanted to feel and express and be love ~ that it loved still, into the dark vacuous abyss that sucked it cold and bled me, sapped my energy, required my conscious effort to overcome every day without Real love. The Love I was denying my Self and transferring to the object of my desire.

Liberation came and purified my understanding. Love does not drain me, it reflects and illuminates me and magnifies and multiplies. It can not be held or touched or seen but it is more Real and more Truthful, and now I see clearly that I am more than my fears, more than my designs, and more than ready for whatever is next. I don’t have to seek love or need love I found out that I am love and therefore, being my greatest desire, I got a full house. 21!!! J